There and back again

Difficult Departure

Christina Williams — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 09:04:51 +0000

When I went to PNG my bags were full with things for Paul and Carina and for Mason’s Birthday Party so I thought that coming home they would be empty. Over the course of the last two days before I left the dear people here in Madang church kept coming to me with gifts. When I got to Church Sunday morning I was greeted by a lady who had waited by the door for me and she put a necklace on me never said much just smiled and hugged me and then handed me another one for Carina.

After Church the youth had chipped in for a gift for me to thank me for speaking to them and ministering to them. So we took a picture with the Youth leaders.

Then all day and evening we had people coming to the house with different gifts for me, more meri blouses, belums and things to remind me of PNG. Two ladies came and brought me two belums and began to tell me that she was the woman who had sewn all the blouses for the students. Paul and Carina had paid her for doing that and the money she made she uses for a ministry to the poor she has in the settlements or places where the very poor live. They had just gotten back from a trip to a Foursquare conference so deep into the jungle that they had to take a canoe for two days up river to get there and then two days to get back. These ladies are thanking me and giving me gifts and I am standing in awe of them!

Gifts just kept coming and I saw so clearly that the deep love the PNG people express touches you to the core. These people love not just with words but with deeds, sacrificial deeds.

In the morning when I was going to the car to leave, I could see the Bible college students in class listening to the teachers. One of them looked over and I gave a slight quiet wave, the next thing I knew Jackson’s mother came and held me and just wept over me, she would not let me go. Then Carina said ‘Oh Mom look behind you!’ the whole class had stopped and the students all came out and wept over me. That was such an emotional goodbye, I thought I would cry because I was leaving my daughter, my wonderful son-in-law and those two precious little men, but now I had all of my PNG family to love and miss! I know that as this class of Pastors and their families go back to where God has called them to minister I may never see these people again in this life but we will have eternity together and what an honor that will be!

Testimonies and Answered Prayer

Christina Williams — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 06:50:55 +0000

On Monday Morning I followed Carina around her Pre-School taking pictures and video, as we were leaving a woman came up to us and greeted us so warmly, she was the Mother of one of the students at the school and a woman who had attended the church for a long time.

She told us (well mostly to Carina in Tok Pisson – which she understood and translated for me) that one of her friends who attended the first Tuesday Ladies Bible Study I taught went home and shared the scripture I taught on with her husband who had not been in Church in a long time, they had also been experiencing many difficulties and he had also fallen under some false suspicion, due to a big bank robbery in the city the worst in PNG history. His wife who had also not been in Church in a long time went home and told him about Psalm 18 and the message had given on that first Tuesday, that God reaches down in the depths to lift us out of trouble and she went home to share the scripture and the teaching with him. It ministered so much to him that he decided right there to return to Church, which he did the next Sunday. She said he is like a new man now and they are so grateful, they want me to pray for them my last Sunday. As Church was ending Sunday the friend who had been witnessing to them came to me and said ‘they are here and want you to pray for them’ as soon as she said that the Lord gave me a vision of a great vicious battle and His hands on this man’s life in the front and back of him to divinely protect him. As I began to pray for them the Lord showed me that He had protected him all his life because God had called him to be a testimony of His glory to the salvation of many. I saw the battle on his marriage and his life as well because they would be a great testimony for the Lord in proclaiming what God could do. (At this time I was not aware of any of the problems before I met them.) I saw that there were people praying for him all his life and that this was an answer to their prayers for him. When I was done praying he was obviously deeply touched and he said ‘you do not know me but I served in the military for ten years in the Bougainville Crisis and I saw many of my friends brutally murder and it was during this time that he first gave his life to Christ. He then went on to tell me of three significant times in his life that he should have been dead. Once when he was three years old and he had been lost and they looked all over for him and they found him in the river in some brush. His belly was extended because of the amount of water he had swallowed, they held him upside down to drain the water out and left him for dead and a few hours later he came to miraculously. Then when he was nine he was bitten by a poisonous snake and had to be taken to the hospital by PMV (public motor vehicle) and by the time he got there he was unconscious and stayed that way for a few days. Then for him to have survived the war in Bougainville was nothing short of a miracle. We wept as we saw that God had truly had his hand on his life and he said, ’you do not know me and yet you have explained my whole life to me’. He told me that he had been prayed for a lot especially by Pastors in Port Moresby. It was an honor to pray for this man with such a wonderful heart and for his family.

Also the woman who had been witnessing to them was so excited to tell me that she has attended the church for a long time and when I prayed for her that week it was the first time she had ever been slain in the Spirit. She was so blessed to tell us about all of this, she was glowing.

I am so grateful to God for His work in the lives of these dear people and thankful that I get to hear about it.

Overwhelmed

Christina Williams — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:08:14 +0000

The wonderful women of the Madang Church and a tea under the Mango tree

Tuesday afternoon on my last week in PNG one of the Women’s leaders showed up at the apartment and asked if I could have lunch with the ladies from the Church on Wednesday. We had made plans to go somewhere for the morning so we agreed that I could meet with them at two for something light at the Church.

At two o’clock Pastor Mavis came to get me and she lead me very graciously to a hidden grove in the field next to the church. It was surrounded by bush and then there was a wonderful clearing under a large Mango tree. The ladies had set up a table with lots of food they had prepared and a woman sat at a fire in the corner cooking hot dogs. They had done all of this preparation to honor me and to thank me for all the teaching. They wanted to ask me questions and get to know me more.

We sat in a big circle around the Mango tree and they asked me to serve myself first after we prayed while they sat waiting for me to take my food. This is the way you treat an honored guest, to allow them to eat first.

We sat and talked asking questions and telling me about what they are doing in the nation as Foursquare Women. Pastor Mavis said, “I tell women here all the time that we have a rich heritage from our sisters in America, who started united foursquare Women and if they can do it so can we!” She wanted to know everything that women in our Foursquare Churches are doing. Then she told me that the women of PNG are so committed to reaching out to other women that at a recent Leaders Conference the Foursquare Women in PNG committed to raising 25,000 kina to help put the first Foursquare Church in the Solomon Islands. This is astounding when you realize that most women working would get a hundred kina a month.

I felt insignificant next to the great vision these ladies had to reach their nation and to send out missionaries from PNG and they kept saying how the Foursquare women in America had done so much so we sat there mutually honoring one another.

When out time was almost over a few women stood to give testimonies of what God had done in their lives from two times I had taught the Bible Studies. One women’s testimony I have included in another blog, but one woman stood and said how she didn’t want to come to Bible Studies or church she just wanted to stay at home and she came to the first Bible Study I taught and realized that she had been robbed of wonderful fellowship and friendship by staying away. Another woman stood and talked about how God had impacted her throughout time together and that her life had been changed.

After we concluded in prayer, woman after woman came to me and brought me more gifts, belums, blouses, jewelry, all from women who have nothing by our standards but were honored to give something because I had given to them. I had been told that it would be rude not to graciously accept these gifts although in your heart it is very difficult to take, so I accepted each gift with joy. We took lots of pictures and cried and hugged one another for a long time. I will truly miss these ladies! I asked Jesus to do a miracle and bring us together again, and they all prayed with me.

Bugs of the Day….Lots of them, I got chewed up under the Mango tree, it was the one time I decided not to put the bug spray on. I was told not to make a scene about bugs because it is a way of life here and it would be hurtful to my hosts if they felt I was uncomfortable. So I learned to handle it and to treat them like dust as someone very wisely said to do and it worked, I wouldn’t have missed this time for anything and no bugs were going to ruin it for me.

Jackson

Christina Williams — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 20:35:20 +0000

There was one young boy who was a child of one of the students who really stood out to me. I had noticed him right away on the videos Carina had sent and when I met him his bright smile seemed to light up his whole face, and you could sense a wonderful heart in him.

The whole time I was there I was asking God and Paul and Carina what I could do for this young man. (Aside from the fact that he had no shoes and once I saw him wearing one shoe and when I asked him about it he just smiled and lifted up the shoe to reveal that there was no sole underneath). But I sensed a great calling on this young man and I felt that he was either going to grow up and become successful in business and bless the work of God with it or he would be a wonderful Pastor. Finally, I realized that the only Bible he had was a much worn, small New Testament and that he carried it everywhere with him. So I bought him a new whole Bible in Tok Pisson that was small enough to put into a pocket so he could protect when he went back to the bush.

Then I looked for the right time to give it to him, just before I left Paul called him up to their apartment and interpreted for me as I gave him the Bible and prayed for him. His smile was huge as he silently received this precious gift and my prophetic words over him. He very quietly and sweetly left and I was so touched by his precious heart for God.

About ten minutes later his father and mother came to the door weeping over this gift to their son. His father explained that Jackson’ mother only spoke their ‘talk place’ the language from the village they are from, so he did all the talking to Paul in Tok Pisson and bits of broken English. He was so overwhelmed at this gift for his boy, that he had come to thank me in person. He told us that he and his wife were Pastors from a Village in the highlands and that they had eleven children, four of which had died. Jackson is the next to the youngest and that most of Jackson’s siblings are older and married, but they all love the Lord.

He told us that Jackson speaks three languages which is a big plus for him, the language of his village, Tok Pisson and English. He said that Jackson had a sister who was one of the Bible College students as well and that when she graduates with her class in a few weeks she will go back to help the church there as well.

We wept together and prayed again and although I could not understand them and they could not understand me we knew that God had united our hearts at that moment.

I can’t wait to see what will happen with Jackson – you never know! You would love Jackson as well if you could meet him, what a fine young man.

Bug of the Day: I finally got to see a large PNG spider and apparently it was a small baby one. It was the size of a tarantula, about 4 inches across and with big hairy brown legs. I was on the porch of the house bringing in the laundry and when I turned to the house and the spider was there. Now I know something is wrong with me I hollered out ‘Carina get me the camera, here is one of those big spiders’.. As I said that Jackson came running up the stairs and scooped up the bug in his hands and took it away. I told him that he saved his life…Carina had gotten the bug spray! The picture is of him holding the spider.

Great lessons taught by the Students

Christina Williams — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 10:48:06 +0000

Today was a day of advanced education for me.

I woke up early 5:45 to get ready in prayer for the day that Carina had set out for us. She had organized a special night for the 18 wives and women of the Bible College who have been studying here on the grounds of the Church where Paul and Carina live. They had asked the men to take care of the children so the ladies could have a night of blessing.

Carina asked me to share on being a woman in ministry and a Pastors wife so I wanted to get up early to hear from God regarding this. I then began to help Carina prepare for the night; she wanted to make all the food to be able to bless these families. She had watched them have nothing to eat so this was to be a special night for them. Carina made a lemon cake, cinnamon buns and sandwiches. We went to the outdoor market to buy fruit and then rushed home to cut it all up.

Paul and Carina had also bought material and paid a lady in the Church to make ‘meri blouses’ for all the ladies and I ironed all of them so they would look perfect for them. As I pressed them, I prayed for the ladies and the places these blouses would be worn as they ministered. I realized that some of these people were so poor they had never had a brand new piece of clothing so what an honor this was to give them this gift. Soon they would be returning to their Churches in the Bush and they would have this one blouse as a token of how much God loved them.

We finished all the preparations and Carina went down to check on the classroom. We thought we might need to go and set it up next, she found that the woman were so excited about the night they had set up the room and put tablecloths on all the tables.

Then at 6:45 we began to hear the sounds of women worshipping we found out that they had come early to just worship the Lord as they waited for the night. There they were all of them sitting in the lunchroom just waiting on the Lord in worship until we were ready for the evening to start.

Carina opened the night in prayer and invited them to eat, they graciously filled their plates and Carina encouraged them that there was enough for them to eat and to take it to their families. I went around and refilled their cups with juice; it was such an honor to serve these women who would normally never be served. A lady named Benita interpreted for us, she had been Paul’s sister’s childhood friend and here she was now serving the Lord in Madang along Paul’s wife, she was wonderful.

Carina and I shared on being in the ministry and being a Pastor’s wife. She shared a great scripture out of John 12 and encouraged the women to follow Jesus and to stay close to Him. Then we called each of them forward to anoint and pray for them. God began to move mightily and the women who were waiting to be prayed for began to pray and weep before the Lord. It was a powerful time of ministry and I loved ministering alongside of Carina and Benita and was so thankful for this opportunity with my daughter.

Then we brought out the gifts we had prepared for them, the Meri Blouses and the bracelets I had brought from LA. In the gracious way that the people of PNG are, they received them in silent grace and then we began to look around and see the woman weeping over the gifts. It was a moment I will treasure in my heart forever.

I found myself so humbled to be able to serve these precious servants. Women who faced uncertainty and severe difficulties everyday, who had lost children and family because of the severity of their lives. Woman who had paid a great cost to be training at the Bible College, many of them had lost mothers and fathers during the year but because of the expense and difficulty of travel could not go back to their village. Yet, they stayed to prepare for the service of the Lord, paying a price that most of us will never have to pay for obedience and their humility and gratitude humbled me to the core.

The people of PNG have changed my life!

Carina and Benita speaking, the group after the gifts, and then the gift they gave me

Last Movie Night

Christina Williams — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 10:26:12 +0000

These are the children of the Bible College Students at movie night at the missionaries and Mason serving them.

I will miss this ministry of Mason, Ezra and Carina’s! What a family ministry! On Wednesday night when the parents all go for prayer at the church Carina had the children of the Bible College Students up to their apartment for movie night. This is a family ministry and I loved being a part of this.

Mason starts asking at five o’clock when will it be time for his friends to come up….we got the apartment ready for the children, arranging all the furniture in the room around the small television Paul was able to get here, so that everyone could see. Then hearing all the children gather outside looking up for the signal from Mason, they are so excited they start gathering early as well. When Mason sees that it is seven, he tells his mother it is time and she agrees so he stands at the window and calls to all the children “it’s time friends, come up!”. You can hear the children rushing up the stairs so excited and yet quietly taking off their shoes at the door and sitting with such reverence and quiet in the room waiting for the movie to start.

These little ones have never or rarely seen a Television set let alone a movie, so this will be a lifelong memory to tell their friends back home in the bush about, you can sense in the room that this is a enormous honor for them.

Carina has Mason serve the cookies tonight and it would have blessed your heart to see this five year old minister to all these hungry children and hand out cookies. I served the juice (I have a ministry in PNG of being the ‘juice servant’, especially to a certain MK named Ezra, who says ‘Juice Nana’ on a regular basis in case I forget my role here)

Ezra has a cuddle ministry on Movie night as he moves from one older child to another sitting on their laps and cuddling. I am not sure if he is just trying to find the best seat in the house, so he tries out every lap or he is just trying to spread the love around. But everyone is delighted to hold Ezra and it makes him like everyone’s little brother and adds to the sense of ‘family’ the Greer family has created here.

I will miss this ministry so much, I truly see why Jesus tells us to bless children because they have such a true fragrance of Christ coming from their lives.

This night is also a great model of ministry as a family, watching Carina and the boys. Plus it was so wonderful to hear these children from the bush, many who have known such trauma and pain laugh with delight. What a refreshing sound!

Bug of the Day….the minute the kids walk out of the apartment they find those giant beetles and start playing with them. Then someone tells me that they are good to eat. It is true I read in a book someone sent Paul and Carina that bugs help with malnutrition, so these little people are pretty smart.

Amazed again

Christina Williams — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 10:08:39 +0000

Pastor Cario, wife Mavis and family – the cockroach is the bug of the day, not part of the family!

Monday, Carina had invited the Senior Pastor and his wife to dinner, this would be a bit of work in any culture but this process was something else! First Carina, Mason and I, went to the open market to hunt down lettuce, tomatoes and other produce for a salad; we also were hoping to find fruit. When I say ‘hope’ it is because this is brought in every day by many people who have gardens in various areas and have to travel by a public motor vehicle to even bring this to market. We wandered through rows and rows of mats and tables until we could locate enough lettuce for one salad and tomatoes that were in good shape, we bought two lemons from one man and then a few rows over found a couple more. All our purchases are put carefully in a belum that Carina and I are carrying, by Mason who shops alongside of his mother every time they go to Market. When we are done Carina tells me that we have to rush through two more stores because all of this produce will completely wilt in the car in the intense Madang heat. She had do go shopping in the order that she did because the produce is the cheapest to lose to the heat. We then go quickly through to more stores one to buy meat and one to buy cheese. We were making Salad and pizza for them, which would be a treat for someone from PNG because it is very expensive to buy already made pizza. When I say stores these are sparsely stocked shelves with items that would look old and worn to us, and are all guarded with security guards that check you going in and out of the building. Then we rushed home so we wouldn’t lose anything in the tropical heat.

When we arrive home we find out that the water is off and there is no water for unknown reasons. Now in most North American homes we probably would have called our guests and rescheduled dinner, but here losing your water is a way of life so Carina and Paul sprung into action. They ran back to a store to get a few big bottles of water, and some paper plates. While I stayed home to cook the meat for the pizza’s and watch the boys.

They returned and Carina washed carefully all the vegetables with a portion of the bottled water and we prepared the salad. Then she made all the pizza dough and pizzas while I cleaned up with a little bit of water we had in a bucket. We also prepared fruit and dessert as well, all without water so this was quite a challenge.

Before our guests arrived we cleaned ourselves up with a wet washcloth that we managed to wet with a little of the left over water. We tried to cool off because now the house was really hot with the oven on and the hot afternoon tropical sun. By the time our guests arrived the table was set, dinner was cooked and everything cleaned up all with what would amount to a big bucket of water.

I stood positively amazed again at the calm, peaceful way Paul and Carina handled this situation with grace and joy for their guests to come to their home. We had a delightful evening with the family only briefly even mentioning the water but mostly enjoying the fellowship.

The next day we still had no water until the late afternoon, but we determined to go joyfully go about our day, while I was silently praying for bit of cold water for some relief from the heat.

I am learning a lot about grace and gratefulness and the true meaning of what a cup of cold water would mean to someone on a hot day.

Bug of the Day….We came home to a dead cockroach in the living room. Carina says it is creepy to pick them up because they are so large and crunchy.

Ukarumpa, Goroka and a Mumu – plus more bugs of the Day

Christina Williams — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 20:27:05 +0000

We went to Ukarumpa and it is a village not far from Kainantu where Paul went to school until eighth grade. We stayed in an SIL guest house which stands for Summer Institute of Linguistics and is owned by Wycliffe, this is a place for missionaries to stay when they are either going to or coming off the field and don’t have their things yet. There was a wonderful couple temporarily hosting this home from Canada, Langley to be specific, they had been missionaries to PNG years ago and now Wycliffe had asked them for fill in for three months until a permanent host for this home could arrive. What a small world we have, that I would come across fellow Canadians here.

When we left Ukarumpa I was very ill, it is the only time on this trip that I got really sick, Paul was sick as well so I really prayed because we were supposed to minister that night in the Goroka Foursquare Church. You can only imagine how much fun that trip was for us with bumpy roads, upset stomachs and no place but jungle to stop.

By the evening though we knew that the grace of God was on us and we went to the Goroka Foursquare Church Youth Service. Once again I love the hunger in the people of PNG, I kept thinking of the scripture ‘blessed are you when you hunger and thirst for righteousness for you will be filled’. That night I got to speak at the Youth Service and Paul and I stood and prayed for everyone who responded to the altar call and then all the leaders and the Pastors as well. God really gave me grace through the whole service and I felt strong until we prayed for the last person. We prayed with several people to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and for the leaders to be refreshed and built up.

On our way home we stopped in Kainantu, Paul’s friend Eli and his family had prepared a traditional Mumu for me with is a huge meal that they cook in the ground on hot stones. These dear people had been working since early morning to have this ready for us, is really a lot of work and was an enormous honor. The food preparation alone is at least two days, when we got there they took the food out of the ground and brought out to large round ‘packages’ of food wrapped in banana leaves. We were they escorted to their home and they served up this feast, with us going first and them not eating, this is the PNG way of honoring guest by allowing your guest to eat first. His wife presented me with a Belum (purse) from Enga; it is a new unique design and was so beautiful. Eli told me that he had asked Paul to name his first born son and that his middle name was after Paul’s elder brother. This is a people who know how to honor those whom they love!

What an amazing heritage Paul has, and now my daughter has been welcomed as family here as well. I see now the full circle of Paul bringing his wife back to his people and for my Grandsons to be a part of this rich heritage! What an honor.

Bug of the Day….oh my goodness the spider tree! There were at least a dozen large spiders hanging off the tree, with huge webs that looked like curtains. Paul told me that you could throw a two by four at the web and it would catch it. Apparently they make hardy spiders here, ‘Charlotte’ would be impressed – it definitely rivals her web!

The Legacy of a Life Lived for Christ

Christina Williams — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 19:56:15 +0000

My son in law, Paul, has an amazing heritage here, his grandfather and grandmother served here in PNG in Goroka and his father and mother in PNG in Kainantu. He and Carina wanted me to get the full taste of PNG while I was here so they packed us up and took me to the Highlands. (Madang where they live is on the coast) We packed up their truck and headed on the only road to Ukarumpa, Kainantu and Goroka, this is a main highway so full of potholes that Paul spent most of the drive moving from side to side on the road just to avoid the huge potholes. This is not a highway to be answering your cell phone on or text messaging; it is not for the person who wants any distractions. It is best described by Carina as the Indiana Jones ride only it didn’t last for 3 minutes it lasted for 4 hours. We joked on the way that we could stop at the next Starbucks or McDonald’s, there are no rest stops, bathrooms or nice places to eat along the road, there is jungle and villages and an occasional small outdoor market and a gas station, with no bathrooms, about midway. Traveling like this is not for the fainthearted, but Paul was a veteran and knew the dangers and the rules of the road for this kind of driving, at one point he told me that it was never a good idea to stop for long along the road because it opened you up for robbers to jump out of the jungle.

One thing that blessed me ….all of the Foursquare Churches along the road, we would see a neat hut building and Paul would say ‘there is a Foursquare Church!’ it seemed like they were everywhere. Paul told me that most people don’t have cars so you need to have churches close so that people in the villages can walk to them.

All the difficulties of travel were worth it! First stop was Kainantu where Paul grew up and his parents were missionaries there, we were greeted by a childhood friend of Paul’s, Eli. He had grown up in the Kainantu church with Paul and was still there and is now a successful businessman. He took us to the Kainantu Foursquare church and I got to see the place where Paul accepted Christ into his heart and the house he grew up in. What an incredible thing to see Paul’s sons playing the church yard that Paul played in as a young boy. The legacy continues…..

Note…below is a picture of the bridge to Kainantu that they have been ‘fixing’ for seven months. We drove a few times either below the bridge through the river or once over the bridge in our truck. I am not sure what took more faith.

this is the Kainantu Foursquare church and the bridge to kainantu

Speaking at the Youth Service in Madang

Christina Williams — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 08:45:05 +0000

: This is Paul once again interpreting for me at the Madang Youth Service

Paul and Carina are serving the Madang Church for a season as their Youth Pastors, (until they can train up another Youth Pastor) along with teaching at the Bible College here, plus all the national Youth stuff Paul is doing. Carina is training worship teams and leaders, developing a choir and overseeing the Pre-School. They have a Saturday night youth service and Paul asked me to preach tonight. Carina sang on the worship team, as well as helped lead the worship. Mason slept on the floor in front of the first pew, during the worship, the whole time I preached and as people responded to the altar call and stood all around him. I spoke on Samuel and it was a great illustration of Samuel choosing to sleep close to the Ark of the Covenant with Mason and several children sleeping on the cement floor on blankets under the pews.

I love preaching here, Paul has been interpreting and we have become a great team, I love listening to him speak so fluently. Many of the people speak English so they often will react to me saying it and to Paul because they understand both languages, it is really fun.

Afterwards I took an Altar Call for people to either receive Christ or to renew their hearts for God, the word the Lord kept giving me was a hardness or dullness of heart. Many people came forward (Carina said about sixty) and Paul and I began to pray and minister to the people. Carina left to worship team to join us at the altar because of the amount of people who came forward. What I love most is that during those times the Lord is always speaking to me about how to pray which I am mostly grateful for. It is always hard to minister in PNG because you are immediately aware of the tremendous pain and torment some of these precious people are in. However, we prayed for people to receive the Holy Spirit, to rededicate their lives and to respond to Christ. It was wonderful to see the Lord working in the lives of all of these people and to see them respond to God with such hunger.

Bug of the Day….I stood at the back of the hall to get some video of Carina leading worship and to pray. As I had my eyes closed in worship one of those giant flying cockroaches flew right into me. That thing was huge and hit me with force! I think I have humming birds at home the same size as this bug. I told Paul I know about the Holy Spirit landing on Jesus in the form of a dove, but what does it mean when a cockroach lands on you? I don’t think it’s good.